Jesus was not a Budaist but Buda would have made a good Christian

Part II Spirituality

God.   A pretty heavy topic for this blog I think. I mean when you use the word Jesus and fuck in the same sentence, you're kinda automatically an asshole.  Just Sayin.  But the one thing I promised myself about this blog when I embarked upon it is that I would keep it Gangsta, but also really talk about the shit I think about in the way that I think about it.  And I've already used Jesus and fuck in a sentence (twice) so I'm pretty much an asshole already.  

So! Let's get after it shall we?   First of all let me say this, I consider myself a Christian.  The main reason I do this is because I'm white and WASP-y looking and it's just easier.  Also, if you've ever seen pictures of my father from 1977 he looks just like fucking Jesus(that's 3).  The other reason is that fo real yo, in my world view all that shit is really the same.   So why not pick the religion that will mitigate your airport pat downs?

So you might be wondering "Damm GD! If you've gotten this shit so streamlined why are devoting a whole post to it?  We aren't trying to get all philosophical and shit.   Get to that other shit your marinating on- I bet that's funny."

The truth as long as I can remember I have craved the presence of God in my life.  Crazy right? But not really. I think that's most people, maybe not God per se that you grew up with being forced on you, have a God shaped hole in their heart and are just looking to find the shape of God that fits it.(Good shit right?  A course In Miracles- read that shit its awesome) 

Now here's the catch, remember pt.I? What's my fatal flaw? That's right- all or nothing.  And this is where, every time with every version of God there is(and on the real, I think all religions are a manifestation of one God)  I stumble.  Fo real yo if I did not have mad control issues I would be the fuckin craziest skid row livin' addict you ever met.  Every time, in every instance, I can go right up to the line and the be like "yea no- not today"  (Don't hate, its kept me off the Meth that and that shit is ghetto, like huffing paint.)

Alas I digress, I bring up drug use and the word fuck in the context of Jesus(aaand 4) to make this point  People that are addicted to God, any God, are fuckin nuts and they scare me.  What's more, I could totally be that girl!  (okay- so right here I totally wanted to put this clip of Tommy Chong saying "Before I was all messed up on drugs, now I'm all messed up on the Lord' Cause you know my Dad let me Listen to the Up in Smoke LP when I was 9- nostalgia.Couldn't find it.   this shits good too) 

And there in lies my quandary- crazy for The Lord =not Gangsta.  Moreover, its hard to find church with peeps that like to say Fuck.  That being said, I'm Catholic and my people do like liquor and swearing.  As a matter of fact when I was a stay at home mom (don't laugh, I rocked that shit) I found my church lady group because the leader told us if we forgot to make flower arrangements for Mass we would go to Hell.  Total dead pan, she wasn't fuckin around.   #Gangsta. 

And so peeps normally I would not beg for your commentary on my rantings- but I'm thinking on sabotage and spirituality I may need them.  Thinking about this shit is making me so uncomfortable that I know somethings gotta give. 

Damn you 1 million self help books Damn you to hell with the ladies that forgot to make flowers.

I didn't link ya'll a ton o' jamz this time cause I fuckin hate Jesus rock. (That's 5 ding-ding-ding we have a winner or a heathen or whatev)  But Ima leave you with my Boy Kanye.  In just 4 short days we shall be together at ACL where he will gaze out over the pasty, natural fiber clad crowd and lock eyes with me.  In that moment, I know he'll choose me cause he can tell your girl is down to ride.   That's my Word.